Many managers I talk with feel they are pretty good leaders. That is, until they receive the results of a staff and peer review. Some are shocked that their scores are so low. Others just can’t take in the data – they actually reject the feedback.

If you do not possess the skill of empathy – of being able to imagine what it’s like to be in another person’s shoes – it makes sense that you would not take their feedback seriously either. Which puts you in quite a conundrum: Until you can begin to accept and believe the feedback, you won’t likely change your leadership style… which means continued turnover, strife among your staff, uncomfortable reviews, less-than-ideal results, burnout, heartburn & indigestion.

Regard is a Two-Way Street

The first step in becoming a better leader is to really really really listen to what people are saying about you. “Regard” is a key component of leadership. As in, how do your people regard you? What do you imagine they are saying about you around the dinner table with their families? What would you like them to say?

And shifting the regard of your staff begins with YOU shifting your regard toward them. Beginning with listening.

Rick Telberg, who writes CPA Trendlines, published a terrific blog post on this a few months ago. He referenced a Regent University leadership study that identified three categories of leader:

1. Transformational, which focuses on rallying followers around a shared vision and motivating them to elevate the organization’s interests above their own,
2. Transactional, which rewards or disciplines followers based on their performance, and
3. Servant, which is based on a desire to serve and encourages “collaboration, trust, foresight, listening, and the ethical use of power.”

Rick’s post highlights key findings in the study:

• Most leaders see themselves as either transformational or servant leaders.
• Most employees see their supervisors as transactional leaders.
• Most employees say they respond best to transformational leadership style.

The dots are not connecting! Take a good look at your own leadership style and give yourself an honest assessment. If I were to shadow you for a week, which category would I see you operating from?

Be honest. It’s your only chance. Stretch your mind and heart into seeing yourself how your staff sees you.

Please be sure to read Rick Telberg’s blog post, “What Kind of Leader Do You Think You Are? “

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  ~Thomas A. Edison

I know you’ve heard this many times, but it bears repeating: Failure = Opportunity to Learn.

A device I use to remember this comes from a story I heard many years ago during a coach training class. We had just been taught a new skill and were about to practice with a classmate, which can be quite a nerve-wracking experience. The instructor told us a story from a training she had previously attended. The story has been so powerful and useful for me, I’m passing it along to you:

She was in a class, learning a new skill. And her instructor asked the students to do the following: Whenever anyone made an error or failed in applying the new skill, they were to leap enthusiastically up out of their chair, throw both arms up in the air and yell with gleeful gusto, “FANTASTIC!”  This was an all-day course, with lots of skill practice going on – so each student got many opportunities to yell, “FANTASTIC!”

The effects of this crazy learning technique are profound:

• The silliness and exuberance that rippled around the classroom lightened the mood and calmed the nerves that often come with clumsy first attempts at practicing any new skill (especially in front of others!).
• Hearing cries of,  “FANTASTIC!” percolate through the course all day long was a reassuring and community-building reminder that everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect.
• Leaping up to yell, “FANTASTIC!” shifted the energy so radically from guarded hesitation to uninhibited, freewheeling experimentation – the students learned a great deal more because the atmosphere actually made it fun and acceptable to fail!

Naturally, I’d love to see you try this technique to help you convert your own failures into learning.

But the bigger question I’m asking you as a leader is: How can you infuse this mindset of “FANTASTIC!” into your leadership style? How can you create an atmosphere among your team that mistakes and failure are not reasons to lambast, but opportunities to invite creative new solutions? If your people are afraid to fail for fear that they will get “marked down” in some way, they will instinctively tighten up and back away from the experimentation that leads to innovation.

You might find ways to repeat this “FANTASTIC!” exercise with your team. But even without this specific activity, you would serve yourself and your team well by stepping back to reflect on how your personal style either invites or stifles the creativity that is often born of failure.

What if Thomas Edison were on your team? Would the atmosphere you’ve created invite him to continue trying to invent the light bulb, one failure at a time? Or would you just be in the dark?

Accountants say, yes!, according to a survey by Ajilon Finance, a leading specialty finance and accounting staffing firm, and the Institute of Management Accountants (IMA).

Two findings I thought were particularly interesting:

1. Soft skills ranked as more important than hard skills.  Thirty-three percent of the accountants who responded felt that an ability to inspire and motivate is the most important quality of leadership in the 21st century. Next most important: communications skills (15%), followed by people management skills (13%). And yet, accountants said that hard skills such as global knowledge/expertise, financial acumen and keen decision-making were more rewarded leadership qualities at their organizations.

2. Training remains a non-discretionary expense. Despite the economic downturn, workforce training remains an important investment for many companies with 31% of survey respondents saying training is a non-discretionary expense. Other non-discretionary expenses include: workforce flexibility (27%), succession planning (26%), leadership development (25%) and enhancing the company’s brand (25%).

Perhaps firms will begin to listen to what their staff are intuitively noticing — that qualities of leadership are shifting over time, and the thrivers will be lead by those who can inspire and motivate. Technical skills are a given these days — but true leadership skills are on the learning curve.

For more details on the survey, I recommend that you pay a visit to Rick Telberg’s fantastic blog, CPA Trendlines.

In a crisis, our reaction is often to “batten down the hatches” — a nautical phrase meaning to seal the hatches (doors & portals) against a storm.

But in this current economic downturn (a more pleasant word for “crisis”), it’s a time for business leaders to open up the doors and windows. This is a time to look outside, to go outside — instead of hunkering down in safety mode, your leadership stance needs to be about getting outside your comfort zone. Look at all possibilities, listen to all opinions and observations, turn your modus operandi upside down.

Eli Whitney’s cotten gin, Alexander Graham Bell’s telephone, and other phenomenal inventions were borne of an economic blight. “Necessity is the mother of invention” — it’s not just an antiquated saying, it’s a mantra worth duct taping to your office wall!

Will you be a leader who “battens down” and curls up in a protective ball, surviving in the short term?  Or will you be a leader who’s business thrives in the long run by opening up to fresh possibilities — including crazy, radical ideas that just now lurk beneath the surface, or in the minds of your staff? Will you be the leader who puts your company in Inventor mode?

This month’s Harvard Business Review features an article, “Leadership in a (Permanent) Crisis,” which speaks to the depth of our current economic travails and pins the hopes of the future on adaptive leaders.

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Professional Services Marketers are keenly tuned in to production mode, there’s no doubt.  My business partner and co-developer of the Marketer as Leader program, Jodie Charlop, NCC, co-wrote an article with me that appears in the July ’09 issue of the Legal Marketing Association Southeastern Chapter newsletter.

Production “trap” implies there just might be an escape hatch. Could it really be?  Yes, absolutely! I implore you to take a small break from your piles of work and read this article very carefully. Your career — and your ultimate happiness — are at stake.

CAUTION: This article will challenge your thinking. You may be uncomfortable. You may feel nervous.  Good!

Marketers strive to prove their value through hard work and high production. But based on the simple principle of supply and demand, if you are you too accessible and over producing, are you in reality driving down the value of your professional stock?

Do yourself a favor and read the article, Overcoming the Production Trap, hot off the e-press. I’m dying to know what you think!

I’m a big fan of Lee Glickstein, who teaches “Relational Presence” through his work with Speaking Circles International. I’ve taken his trainings and participated in a Speaking Circles Study Group for several years. His process has removed my fear of public speaking, enhanced my ability to authentically connect with an audience, and boosted my confidence as a relational leader.

Relational Presence is all about inviting connection rather than trying or forcing it. It’s a “state of receptivity without agenda or effort.” From my experience, it’s a powerful way to relate to another human being, whether one-on-one or when you are speaking to a group.

Some resources on this for you:

ARTICLE: How to Redirect Performance Pressure to Engage Your Audience, by Lee Glickstein

BOOK: Be Heard Now!

WEBSITE: www.speakingcircles.com

Let me know about your experience with relational presence!